Mon
May
5
the end. now leave.
los angeles, california—-
i chose to end this relationship in january. i have trust issues, i can’t stop imagining you with another girl, etc. aside from many other reasons that we just don’t get along when we’re not in the same place - i’m jealous of your lifestyle, job, social life, etc. I have my own infidelity/self esteem problems. I enjoy the attention of other men and have very little will power to keep myself from falling for any guy who seems even partially interested. For all these reasons, I chose that this was not what I wanted in my life at that point.
In February you came back, very loving, very romantic, very persistant and amazing and I fell into that. I thought it was exactly what I wanted and I knew how completely and passionately I could fall back in love with you and I asked you to promise me no more pain. Maybe it’s the passion, or the low self esteem, or whatever, but a week ago I made a mistake (a mistake I’ve made MANY times - maybe it’s not a mistake, maybe it’s a perminant flaw) and I got jealous and stupid and you realized that you didnt’ want to be apart of it and you left. for a full week. you didn’t talk to me. there was no, “let’s work on this” no, “i’m upset, give me time to think this out”. You just left. And I was hurt. And I don’t want that. Sure, I take FULL blame - it was my fault to begin with - everything is. I don’t care. I accept all of it. But no matter what it is, this relationship is NOT healthy. For either of us. I don’t ever want to cry because of you ever again.
No matter whose fault it is.
The end.
Now leave.